Open Mind
Alyson Engelbrecht • September 18, 2020
Written by Caroline Correia
When I was young ‘children should be seen and not heard,’ was definitely the case. We could say ‘hello’ to people, but we were never allowed to have an opinion or voice it in the company of visitors. Whilst I am an old school parent, and still make my children greet people using Aunty and Uncle, I firmly believe that children should have a voice and be allowed to use it in the safety and sanctity of their own homes. If we do not allow them to have an opinion and talk about their feelings or offer advice on issues and events that are taking place in their space, then we are doing them a great disservice.
With teenage anxiety, depression and suicide on the rise in South Africa, we need to equip our children with the means and skills to be able to verbalise what they are feeling and experiencing and encourage them to tell us why they are feeling this way. We need to be encouraging our children to come to us with their problems, and as hard as it is, to not let our personal bias and prejudices come through in our answers and discussions with them.
Anger is a normal emotion and yet we as parents stop our children from ranting and raving as it is seen as unacceptable behaviour. If we do not allow them to vent with us, they might start internalising these feelings which could lead to them becoming sick, depressed or feeling like they have nowhere to turn.
When your child comes to you with an issue or to talk, remember to be as open minded as possible. Allow them to talk and then reassure them that what they are feeling is totally normal and that they should not be ashamed or feel guilty for whatever it is that they might be going through at that time. Open and honest communication with our children is something that we need to develop and foster. It is this relationship that could end up making or breaking their self-image.
As they get older and start going out with their friends, develop a ‘safe word’ that only you and your child know, so that if they send this word to you, you know that they feel uncomfortable, out of their depth or are in trouble. This allows you to phone with an excuse and to go and fetch your child, and for your child to leave an awkward situation without being ridiculed by their peer group.
However, you may not ask questions until they are ready to tell you what the problem is. They may never be ready to tell you what the issue was, but just knowing that they have a safe space to come home to means the world to them. Raising children in today’s day and age is no mean feat, and it is true what they say: it takes a village to raise a child. These little miracles that we were blessed with, did not come with a manual of what to do or how to raise them. As parents we can just trust our instincts and do everything in our power to keep them safe and protected, whilst still allowing them the freedom to become independent and spread their wings. As parents, let us be as aware of our children’s emotional wellbeing, as we are of their physical needs, especially as they get older and become teenagers. It is during this period of their lives that they need us the most.
Twenty years of trusted education meets expanded opportunities, greater accessibility and future-ready learning from January 2027. Families across Hartbeespoort can look forward to an even stronger independent school offering as Pecanwood College becomes Pinnacle College Pecanwood from January 2027. The transition brings together two decades of local educational excellence with the academic strength, innovation and opportunities offered by the expanding Pinnacle Colleges network. Current and prospective families stand to benefit from a school that retains everything the community values while opening the door to even greater opportunities. Pinnacle College Pecanwood will preserve the school's caring culture, close relationships, boarding facilities, IEB curriculum, sporting tradition and vibrant co-curricular programme, while providing students access to a broader network recognised for academic excellence, future-focused learning and preparation for life beyond school. Pecanwood College has proudly served the Hartbeespoort community for 20 years, offering education from the early years through to Grade 12, including boarding. Dedicated teachers, a nurturing environment, strong IEB academic results and diverse sporting and cultural opportunities have established the school as a respected educational institution in the region. That solid foundation will now be enhanced through the wider Pinnacle Colleges network. Students and teachers will benefit from shared academic expertise, established operational excellence and opportunities to participate in broader academic, cultural and sporting initiatives across multiple campuses. Pinnacle Colleges equips students for tertiary education and successful careers through a balanced approach that combines academic excellence with innovation, career guidance, coding and robotics, technology-enabled learning and holistic personal development. Respect, responsibility and a strong sense of community remain central to every campus experience. Academic success already defines Pecanwood College. The Class of 2025 achieved an impressive 98.59% matric pass rate, a 94.36% Bachelor's Degree pass rate and an average of 1.9 distinctions per student. Pinnacle College Pecanwood will build on these achievements through strengthened academic systems, shared expertise and continued commitment to outstanding IEB education. The name Pinnacle College Pecanwood honours both the school's proud heritage and its exciting future. Twenty years of commitment by students, teachers, families and the wider community remain firmly embedded in the school's identity, while its new name reflects membership of one of South Africa's fastest-growing independent school groups dedicated to innovation, accessibility and student success. Hartbeespoort families can now enjoy the best of both worlds: a close-knit community lifestyle paired with access to a high-quality independent education close to home. Pinnacle College Pecanwood is well positioned to become the school of choice for families seeking exceptional academic opportunities, future-ready skills and an environment where every student can thrive.
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