EQ vs IQ

For a long time now, there has been an ongoing debate around EQ vs IQ. IQ is a measure of one’s intelligence and is usually determined by a set of standardised tests based on norms for different ages. Emotional intelligence (EQ) is the ability to understand, use, and manage your own emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges and defuse conflict. Emotional intelligence helps you build stronger relationships, succeed at school and work, and achieve your career and personal goals. It can also help you to connect with your feelings, turn intention into action, and make informed decisions about what matters most to you. 

Adapted from Emotional Health - Authors: Jeanne Segal, Ph.D., Melinda Smith, M.A., Lawrence Robinson, and Jennifer Shubin. 

As we know, it’s not always the smartest people who are the most successful or the most fulfilled in life. We all know people who are academically brilliant and yet are socially inept and unsuccessful at work or in their personal relationships. Intellectual ability (IQ) isn’t enough on its own to achieve success in life. Yes, your IQ can help you get into college, but it’s your EQ that will help you manage the stress and emotions when facing your final exams. IQ and EQ exist in tandem and are most effective when they build off one another. It is therefore vitally important that we give our children opportunities to build and develop their EQ as well. If a child is unable to empathise and put themselves in someone else’s shoes, then we as parents have failed them. 

We need to teach our children how to be mindful of each other and to be aware of one another’s feelings. Teach your child to be the one who sits with the lonely child at break, the one who turns no one away when playing a game, the one who includes the socially inept children in group work and who is tolerant of those with disabilities. Teach your child to be confident and know their strengths and weaknesses, and to be aware of their own emotions in various situations so that they can handle conflict in a responsible manner. 

One of the most important things for me as a parent is to teach my children to be kind and to have empathy. Teach your child that kindness begins with them.